Single in the Suburbs: Coffee vs. Dinner Date

By Anonymous

single suburbs bucks countyAfter a straight year of continuous cereal dating, I have come to the realization that maybe I’m trying too hard and should just let things flow naturally. Between online dating on two different websites, numerous blind dates, meeting people through friends and occasionally bumping into a guy from high school with the, “Hey! We should meet up for a drink” line, I am exhausted, burned out and flat out disappointed with the selection of men that us single girls have left. I can with all honesty say that I have given it my all and then some.  In the end, though, I’m left with a few good meals, a few good laughs but let down feeling after the date is over when I realize “This just isn’t going to work.” For this reason, I decided it was time to take a fresh approach, to dive deep into myself to ask, “Am I the problem?”

I realize I can be a bit particular, but my one girlfriend described that as “having standards”. If you’re not feeling it on the first few dates, then you’re not going to feel it at all. Why settle?

While shooting photography at weddings is one of my occupations, I often meet a date-worthy guest or a groomsman, but remaining professional, I do not pursue them. However, if they contact me after the event, I do not see any problem with responding!

So when one of the groomsmen at a wedding I photographed found me on Facebook and asked to go out for coffee, I was delighted, and the following week, we met up in town for a cup of joe.  During our hour long coffee date, we covered a variety of topics; I found him to be charming, intellectual and kind. Next came a “dinner date”.

Now, there is a huge difference between a coffee date and a dinner date. A coffee date allows me to drive my own car, is much shorter, and the bill is much less.  A dinner date generally includes the guy picking up the girl, a higher price tag, a longer time commitment, and if the night goes well, a kiss.

So with that said, my date picked me up.  We rocked out to Eminem’s latest album on the way to the restaurant, had steak for dinner, and headed out for post-dinner drinks in town. This time, I had an okay time. Before going inside my house, we exchanged a quick kiss.

I wasn’t sure if he was “Third Date Worthy” but I gave him a shot and went for it. This was a bad mistake. I should have listened to my instincts. For date #3, we went out for Mexican food (yum!) and saw a show afterwards. at one point during dinner, we took turns asking each other questions, and I asked him what he thought were his strengths and weaknesses. When it came to the weaknesses part, he had a blank stare on his face and after two minutes of not saying anything he came up with one word: “Nothing.” My response? “So, you’re perfect then?”

Once dinner was nearing the end, I had offered to pay my portion of the meal because he was paying for the show. The bill was $75, which he said he would split with me and threw down $20. Last time I checked that wasn’t half of $75. I gave the waiter my card and just kept the $20 on the table as tip and he freaked out saying that was too much. Really? By this point I was annoyed, and about two margaritas in, we headed upstairs to the show. Little did I know how much worse the night would get.

During the show, he drank too much beer, drove me home (safely, thank god!), and I literally leapt out of the car, quickly said goodnight, shut his car door and ran inside. But it didn’t end there. He continued to text and call me for the next few hours asking me why I was in such a rush to leave, insisting that this wasn’t the first time that this has happened to him. He wanted to know what he was doing wrong, and why women wouldn’t date him.

I have since blocked him from my iPhone, from Facebook and from my life. Good riddance! NEXT!

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