Single in the Suburbs: Jumping into the Online Dating Pool

Single in the suburbs

by Anonymous

There I was, logged into two different dating sites at once; one free and one in which I decided to pay for for 3 months, which cost approximately the same price of a brand new outfit (including shoes). I was trying to figure out what to write about myself. Honestly, that is the most difficult part about these dating sites. I feel like it is absolutely impossible to write about yourself without sounding like you’re bragging. Plus, how do you write about how awesome you are in a few paragraphs?! It’s quite easy going through the steps of a dating profile, but filling the sections with appropriate content took a solid 2 hours for both of my profile pages.

Once complete, I began the tedious task of selecting my profile pictures. For any girl (and guy), this is a nightmare. The phrase “a picture says a thousand words” haunted me. Do I go with a “selfie?” Do I use a picture with me and a friend? Should I put up a funny picture? Trust me. The options are endless and deciding which picture fits “you” is extremely hard. I settled on a plain, no frills picture. My motto in all of this was “you either like it or you don’t.” Harsh I know, but one thing I have learned with online dating is you need to set firm rules for what you want and stick with them.

Phew. Done. I was just one (well two because of my ambition of having two profiles) click away from “going public.” I took a deep breath and off I went. All of me was on one page. I sat there waiting. I found myself getting antsy so I started scrolling through the pages of “eligible bachelors” in Bucks County and surrounding areas. It was overwhelming. Most people look at the pictures and move on, unlike me who actually sits and reads what someone has wrote in their profile. I would start reading and once I came across one thing I didn’t necessarily liked or agreed with, I moved on. It seemed like a good tactic to have when tackling the online dating world.

While scrolling through my “options” I noticed I was getting an influx of messages on both accounts. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t excited. I opened my first message and read “hey, how are you?- John.” Really?! I paid how much to get “hey, how are you?!” Are you kidding me!? Meanwhile the free site didn’t do much better with various messages stating “hey hottie.” Um…no. I’m sorry gentlemen, but this is never an appropriate first impression and ladies, you’re guilty of it too.

I was exhausted reading all of the messages with cheesy pick-up lines and horrible one-liners. I had spent roughly 5 hours “shopping” for my man and “bragging” about myself. I felt like I went shopping with the intent of buying and I left with nothing. Disappointing. Was this a bad idea? Did I do too much too soon? I was all gung-ho about this whole thing that I am suddenly finding myself backing away. I sat there wondering what my next move should be.

Then, there it was. Another message, however, this one had me intrigued. I clicked. An actual message! There was substance! There were questions! This guy seemed truly interested. So I decided there was no harm in messaging back.

Excited, I composed my first message to my “eligible bachelor. “ I found it much easier to “talk” about myself when responding to someone. I hit send and breathed my first sigh of relief. Perhaps this is not so bad after all? Maybe you need to go through a few “bad” to get to the “good.”

I saw my entire outlook on dating change once I completed my profile and sent my first message. I realized that although I am dating “online,” not everything is instant. I would be crazy if I thought I would find “the one” right away. I had this idea that because I was approaching dating online, that things would be much easier. Boy did I make some serious assumptions…

Oh! A message back from E.B (eligible bacheolor)! He wants to meet! Already?! But what do I wear…

Xoxo,
Wonderfully Single

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