Single in the Suburbs: Starting Over

 

Please welcome our new anonymous writer of our popular column Single in the Suburbs.  Our previous 2 writers have graduated out of the column after finding themselves in relationships.  Read on to hear the new perspectives of our new twenty-something bachelorette…

Okay, so…

Single in the suburbsBefore we get into the nitty gritty details of the fabulous dates I have been on, I think it’s only appropriate for me to have my first article give you an idea about who I am and why in the world I am single…

I’ve been wonderfully (I don’t want to ever hear you single ladies and men to say ‘painfully’) single since October of 2012. I was in a comfortable long term relationship (6 years). I thought, “This is it, we are going to get married.” Well…I was completely blindsided. My ex ended up quitting his job and making the decision to move back home. I still strongly believed it could work, especially after being together for so long. One night, I found him at my house at 10 o’clock at night wearing the $100 sneakers I had bought him as an early birthday present, fiddling with his hands uttering the words, “I think we need to breakup.” Like any girl, I sobbed and was completely disgusted at how calm he was handling it all. Of course I asked the most common question asked in this sort of situation, “Why?”The answer?

“I need to find myself.” WHAT?! First of all, what does that even mean?!

Needless to say, he wanted to cut off all means of communication. No talking. No texting. No Facebook stalking. Nothing. This was extremely difficult, considering this guy was my best friend before my boyfriend. As of today, we have not communicated much. It still stings a little when I see pictures of him pop up in my Facebook Newsfeed, but I need to eventually come to terms with it all and face the hard truth.  The whole thing has been quite the experience. You go through numerous phases. First, you go through the “I’m- going- to- watch- sappy- love- movies- while- consuming- mass- amounts- of- Ben- and- Jerry’s- Cookie- Dough- Ice- Cream- while- sobbing- uncontrollably,” to “Every-picture-or-thing-I- see-that-reminds-me-of-you-makes-me-want-to-unleash-my-inner-Hulk,” to “I’m-so-much-better-off-without-him-and-better-looking,” and then back to the uncontrollable sobbing. It eventually becomes a cruel cycle until you finally snap yourself out of it and say “what have I been doing sitting here letting opportunities pass me by?!”

It comes to a point where you finally realize that sitting around feeling sorry for yourself doesn’t help you move on. You’re just letting his (or her) stupid decision (because let’s face it, you’re AWESOME), control how you feel. Now is your time to take risks. Learn about you and what YOU want and need. I’m telling you, being single is a great time to be YOU!

I’m not going to lie, being single in the suburbs can be difficult, depending on where you live. Take me for example; I live at home with my parents (ouch) on acres of straight up woods. The only “man” I see comes complete with four legs and fur. I’ll pass Mr. Stag. However, I have found myself coming up with ways around it and embrace my new “freedom.”

There are so many places to explore and people to meet in the suburbs. Now is the time to not be afraid to take risks. Go to Happy Hour after work…by yourself! I challenge you. I promise you that eventually you will be chatting it up with the people around you. Do things for you. Besides, the day after my breakup I went out and bought myself that car I wanted (and needed). The first step to getting yourself back in the dating game again is taking care of you and your needs first and then dive in and let yourself be vulnerable again. It’s going to feel like taking off a band-aid after your cut heals. It’s all well and good when it’s protected, but the second you take it off…OUCH!

So, here I am. Comfortable job, happy with myself and where I am going and simply enjoying life! So join that dating site and get out there! Be sure to tread lightly and don’t sell yourself short. I can tell you that diving in head first does not always work out. Why you ask? Well you will just have to find out next month…

Xoxo,
Wonderfully Single

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